A Fist Full of Pills

dd 3.10.09



I take one one one ’cause you left me 
And two two two for my family
And 3 3 3 for my heartache
And 4 4 4 for my headaches
And 5 5 5 for my lonely
And 6 6 6 for my sorrow
And 7 7 7 for no tomorrow
And 8 8 8 I forget what 8 was for
And 9 9 9 for a lost god
And 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything

‘Kiss off”  Violent Femmes 1982



Wow. I guess I should have started with a half. But god damn I just wanted unconscious. And I got it. Is this how other people get to go to sleep? Hit the pillow, close eyes, and gone? No wonder they are not artists. No time for ideas. So while I’m so so glad for these pills. I know I can’t take them forever.

The postcard is of Frida Kahlo’s ‘The Dream.” I have it in my bedroom.

frida the dreamFrida really did have a four poster bed, that she spent a lot of time in due to many surgeries for her back. Her biographer Hayden Herrera wrote of the painting;

…where the bed in which she is sleeping ascends into a lavender and white sky…..she is in danger of falling, should her dream be interrupted. In her sleep she pairs herself with a skeleton in the form of a papier-mache Judas, which actually did rest upon her bed’s canopy. To Frida the skeleton was a amusing reminder of mortality. Rivera teased her by calling it her lover.

Nothing so great in my bedroom, I have a box spring on bricks with a old futon on top. Cant fully close the door, my nesting platform blocks it. But I do what I can.

bedroom 09


One Response to “A Fist Full of Pills”

  1. Dawn RunsAmok Says:

    “…Cause they’re waitin’ for me, they’re lookin’ for me. Every single night, they’re driving me insane, those men inside my brain…
    I try to sleep, they’re wide awake, they won’t let me alone.
    They don’t get paid to take vacations, don’t let me alone.
    They spy on me, I try to hide, they won’t let me alone.
    They persecute me, they’re the judge and jury on and on…”
    ‘Dream Police’-Cheap Trick

    Yayy Angela, back in the land of dreams, at last. And kudos on the Kahlo story…Lovely inspiration for an insomniac comrade.
    Thanks! ~D

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